Sigh..
Oh my..i'm tired now..
Totally..
Problems after one another..
When will it ever end..
I'm tired..but i bet my grandma is feel worst than i am..
She cried..i cried..everyone cried..
For one person..
My grandfather..

Everything started yesdae morning at 4am..
When everyone is sleeping..
Or i can say everyone should be sleeping..
But there's tis family who wasn't in any deep sleep at all..
Thats my grandparents,my da yi and cousin pei qi..

Grandpa started throwing up at 4am plus..
By 6 plus 7 in the morning,he had difficulty clearing his bowels..
That was basically wat happened throughout the whole morning and afternoon..
All my aunties and uncles were called down to see the situation..
Wanted to send my grandpa to the hospital..but he insist in staying at home..
So they did..Let Him Stay At Home..

And thats when the worst came..
He slept with his mouth open..breathing deeply..
I saw it with my own eyes in the afternoon when i went over..
Felt sour deep inside..but i dunno wat to say..
And few hours later..
We had no choice but to call the ambulance..
He had difficulty breathing..
Took the ambulance 15mins to arrive..

By the time we rush to the hosp..
He was pale..
Doc told us that he had heart attack..
No medication can help him anymore..
All his organs have failed..
His heart cant pump that well can he is highly dependent on machine to survive..
The worst thing is..we have to be prepared that he might leave us anytime..
And i'm one of his pampered little grand-daughter..
Yet i cant do anything but to fake a smile in front of him..
I feel so useless..
Till now..grandpa has no idea about his illness coz no one wants to upset him..thus everyone kept quiet abt it..

Gosh..wat have i done wrong to deserve all this..
First was relationship problem..
Now family problem..
Wats next then..
Who can i really go to?
Who can i really trust?
Who can lend me a shoulder to lean on,to cry on?
Who can be my listening ear?

I dun care about all these right now..
All i wan now is for my grandpa to get well..though i know its impossible..
I hope miracles do come true..
I dun mind sacrificing myself..
Just to see my love ones well..
I've seen many beloved people leaving my side..
I cant afford to see anymore..
Might just break down..

I'm tired..really tired..
Sigh..